The Bad Apple

The Bad Apple

It appears the Fiend’s favorite burger joint in Chicago has met its rival.

It’s no surprise Kuma’s Corner remains to be the Chi-town institution to which the bar has been set. The affection here goes beyond simply an appreciation for the “burger” in all forms…from the quality of meat and ingenuity of its topping counterparts, not to mention the unparalleled atmosphere. The lust for Kuma’s starts as soon as you walk through the door, and continues to build into a full-blown love affair only after a four-hour massage of the senses that leaves you drunk and thirsty for more. I understand for some this might be too intense, but for others it’s pure nirvana.

However, Bad Apple – an ironic and fun (clever, perhaps?) name for a restaurant – has proven itself to be a true player in the Chicago burger universe. And boy, oh, boy does that space seem vast these days, but for what Bad Apple lacks in terms of a “complete” sensory bombardment, it makes up for it in terms of the food itself…giving Kuma’s a run for its title.

Both being slightly off the beaten path of the typically easy to navigate Chicago grid, no distance shall interfere with a gourmand’s taste for raw flesh...evident still by the ridiculous waiting times (more at the former).

Proximity aside, this trip would stand as being the Fiend’s “last burgering” before his departure for New York City, so it was only fitting that he would dine with his roommates…those of which have been on many-a-burgering excursions before “The Fiend” was only a childhood nickname.

With so multiple choices at our disposal, the crew decided to sample a few different burger offerings, such as The Belly Burger, The Frenchie, Elvis’s Last Supper and The Slow Burn.

Elvis's Last Supper

Being bold, the Fiend chose Elvis’s Last Supper, which aptly featured bacon and peanut butter at toppings. Being a fan of pretty much PB & anything, I figured this would be a knockout jab. However the taste was slightly different than expected: a little confusing almost, perhaps a little too “fatty” if that’s even possible. Perhaps a few slices of banana would have been a fresh twist to loosen up the concoction, likewise building an additional layer of texture to keep things interesting. Solid burger, but not prize-winning.

The Slow Burn

The clear winner of the day was The Slow Burn. The Fiend will venture on the edge and state this is probably the single best burger tasted in Chicago. All the pieces of the whole worked in chorus to produce a masterpiece of smell, texture and visual appeal.

Lest I forget the taste. The sandwich included sautéed spicy chiles, onions, bacon and white cheddar…well conceived ingredients that amplify the overall spectrum of flavors. It had just the right amount of spice to prick the tastebuds regardless of one’s Scoville threshold, which was really no sweat to begin with because any heat is quickly neutralized by the creamy white cheddar.

And to taste Bad Apple’s hamburger meat alone – no toppings, no condiments; an absolute must-try maneuver if you want to delineate quality – is a privilege, because you are now truly tasting greatness in the form of Pat LaFrieda sourced beef. Rich, but not opulent; savory, but not obnoxiously over-the-top. You’ll just know as soon as it hits your tongue.

LaFrieda, largely unknown in Chicago, is a New York meat purveyor icon…the current heavyweight champ of beef in the N.Y.C. It’s hard to imagine that one person’s touch to a raw substance can make that much of a difference, however look at other great alchemists of their mediums – such as the Eckhouses, Carnegie and even Mr. Issac Newton himself – and it’s not hard to imagine the possibility. Now that the Fiend is an NYC colonist, you’ll inevitably be reading about a lot more LaFrieda love in the near future.

Looking critically at the experience, pound-for-pound, the Bear king finally has a worthy adversary, yet at the end of the bout the Apple still was not his overall match. However every champion must walk the streets with a bulls-eye on his back, knowing damn well all contenders are lurking in the shadows and peering intently through focused crosshairs.

So for those lovers of ground beef on a bun, I would highly recommend making Bad Apple your next stop. If access to a car isn’t a possibility, then be brazen and plan your public transportation in advance, but don’t let the distance deter a chance to experience top-shelf material.

It’s well worth the venture.

4300 North Lincoln Avenue
Chicago, IL 60618-1712
(773) 360-8406
www.badapplebar.com

Cortland's Garage



(Cortland Street Burger)


I’m embarrassed to say I lived in Chicago for so long and had previously never visited Cortland’s, aside from one random (and somewhat inebriated) stumble upon a handful of years ago. Voted as having one of the top burgers in Chicago by Chicago Magazine in the ’09 mega-burger breakdown, as well as possessing quite a strong WOM following, the Fiend had to make it one of the final stops in the city before jetting away.

In addition, this little venture was also quite groundbreaking as I’m pleased to introduce a Chicago burgering comrade in crime – the Burger Banshee – who is the first featured guest blogger on the Fiend.

Alas, the menu options are quite vast at Cortland’s, so it was decided beforehand that we would each pick a cut and then collectively decide upon a third to sample. The Banshee picked the 18th Street, The Fiend chose the Ashland Avenue, and the Cortland Street would prove to be the wildest of wild cards.



(Ashland Avenue Burger)


The Ashland Avenue was the first item that jumped out when I first perused the menu descriptions, however I knew from the start that I was treading in murky water with that decision. Overall it was pretty tasty, however I’ve had similar burgers with the same toppings and ingredients (BBQ pulled pork), including the infamous and beloved Led Zeppelin at Kuma’s, so the bar had somewhat been established. The Banshee agreed: “I’ve had better versions of this concept.”

The next was the 18th Street, the choice of the Banshee, which sounded amazing on paper (carne asada, pico de gallo, guac, tortilla strips, chipotle mayo, etc.), but never really followed through in execution. The Banshee exclaimed: “I liked all the ingredients, but thought that in the end there was just too much going on and the real flavor of the burger got lost in the shuffle. And it was a tad messy/hard to keep together.”



(18th Street Burger)


And the Fiend couldn’t concur more, something that’s been lamented numerous times before. So let’s take a few seconds to revisit that school of thought.

In the world of the burger patty – which let’s be honest is the reason why you’re actually eating a “hamburger” to begin with, or at least in theory should be – nine out of 10 times working with less is so much more grand and exactly why a simple burger will typically win in the end. Less confusion; pure mastication.

Driving home that point is the third choice, the original Cortland Street, which was by far the best of the three that evening – thus proving that one shouldn’t wander far from the signature sandwich upon first encounter. Especially if it’s an award winner and it’s stupidly simple (see aforementioned rant above).

The toppings of the Cortland Street (white cheddar, smoked bacon, onion strings, etc.) were fresh and perfectly in chorus, including texture. “It had a nice combo of ingredients, especially the bacon and onion rings, which gave the right balance of flavor to accompany the burger itself,” said the Banshee.

Regardless, the beef across the board is extremely good quality and the reason why Cortland’s burgers are top-shelf. Rich, velvety, seasoned to perfection – a prescription for repetitious abuse.

Ohhh, and the Banshee wanted to note that the parmesan fries were a wonderful companion to the meal. The frosty craft beers certainly didn’t hurt either.

All in all, the Fiend and the Banshee both agree...if you’re looking for a good Wicker Park watering hole and jonesin’ for a burger fix, the Garage will be there and waiting to please.

Cortland’s Garage
1645 West Cortland Street
Chicago, IL 60622
(773) 862-7877
www.cortlandsgarage.com